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Filed under: Communism, Entertainment, Issues, Politics, Religion, South America, Tree Hugging, World | Tags: Chevez, Communism, Hugo, Hugo Chavez, Politics, Religion, socialism, South America, totalitarianism, Tree Hugging, Venezuela, Wicca, wiccan
Hugo Chavez has openly declared his new conversion to Wicca, a nature-based religion, early Monday morning. To the astonishment of many followers, or Chavistas, he has already begun pushing the conversion of the entire nation to Wicca with a fully televised announcement.
Wicca is an ancient nature-based religion with converts scattered all over the world. Wiccans, meaning “naked witches,” see this as a great advancement to their naturally small following.
“Of course this is easy for him,” states Carlito Sanchez, a Venezuelan student. “Following his recent constitution reforms, in which he extended his term from five years to seven, he’ll have no problem instituting this devil-work as a state religion.” With totalitarianism – Chavez’s complete grasp on the nation’s media, mind, and economy, commentators calculate it should be fairly easy to carry out a few thousand, if not, millions of Venezuelan converts.
Televised broadcasts are scheduled to run for three days with Wiccan documentaries, following the president’s personal reading out of various books including Wiccan, the History of the Wicca, and the official gospel, the Book of Shadows. It is also recorded however, that as the Wiccan population may grow enormously with the conversion of an entire impoverished and overpopulated nation, Chavez’s popularity rating is likely to plummet.
“Maybe this is why he created the seven year term in the first place,” remarks Sanchez.
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Well, there goes my respect for witches….
Comment by jenniferlynalexander November 7, 2007 @ 1:43 amI was actually visiting my grandmother in Ven at the time, I saw it on TV and we both freaked out. Pretty messed up shit to force a religion on a whole country nowadays
Comment by Bluethunder November 9, 2007 @ 12:30 amThis calls for a US intervention. We must fly in on the communists and correct their morals and faith before it’s too late. I believe everyone should be a Christian, but not to the forceful extent of totalitarianism.
Comment by Butter Stick November 9, 2007 @ 12:38 amAs Wiccan, I am not laughing.We do not “convert” and you need to at least get the book names right…there are some really funny ones out there on the shelves.
There is a chance of making this funny…but you would have to know something about the religion to do it. That is what makes satire.
And the word Witch is a proper noun..capitolize please.
blessed be…
Comment by terra January 31, 2008 @ 2:45 pmAs a Wiccan, I agree with Terra. We do not believe in converting people. To be a Wiccan, you must truly desire to be one with nature, and to be of the Lord and Lady. This is quite sad…. people fear what they do not understand….. and few understand our ways. I only hope people will at least try to learn about our beliefs before they begin to tear Chavez apart.
Comment by Patrick June 16, 2008 @ 4:42 amWell, whoever wrote this has never read anything about Wicca. Ever. Simply by typing in “Wicca” into google you could learn more.
The one thing that irritates me the most is saying that the offical gospel is the book of shadows…. THE book of shadows? There is no one book of shadows, every Witch has his or her own that is similar to a journal where spells and notes are kept.
My favorite quote goes something like “Your bible can be destroyed in the wind and the rain, Ours is the wind and the rain”
I really don’t know what else to say… Kind of in shock that I never heard about this till now.
Comment by Victoria June 25, 2008 @ 2:03 pmI am the founder of the Our Father of the Flames: Temple Satanis… People of US, my Fellow Americans… Do not call this man’s passion a conversion! I do not like Wicca at all, but that doesn’t mean we have to say “He’s converting the country!” NO! We have done this to our selves already! It is called many forms… Mainly Democracy and Christianity… We lived a totalitarian life as is, but you Christians do not see it that way! You try to tell us how to live our lives, you try to say God did this and that… but all in all, you blindly prod non-Christian religions and say that they are wrong and burn in YOUR Hell. Now, stop with the ostrosizations and erotic fantasies of the world becoming a religious planet! You have judged, now it’s you all who are judged… Be it your God or my Father, who art in Hell, Satan. I am dead serious.
Comment by Rev. Sebastian Kain June 26, 2008 @ 1:06 amThat man will never know the true nature or even change to know this religion well and be true to it. I totally agree that who ever wrote this knows nothing of Wicca. Wicca has nothing to do with “devil-work” as the writer wrote. We know no devil in our religion. The only evil is in the person, not in any of our Gods or Goddesses. Maybe if this person would read and do research before stating things, he/she wouldn’t have been put down so much.
Comment by Patricia July 4, 2008 @ 12:15 amWell, I’m a Wiccan and I was in Venezuela both before and subsequent to this announcement, though I was unaware of it until I read this article. The truth is there were very few Wiccans in Venezuela before this announcement and nothing has changed (as far as I could see) since. There are several reasons for this:
1. Wicca rarely does well in Catholic countries. Almost all of its strongholds are in Protestant countries.
2. Wiccan celebrations are largely based on a seasonal cycle which does not occur in tropical countries such as Venezuela. Solstices and equinoxes have no meaning in the tropics.
3. Goddess/Nature worship is already well catered for in Venezuela by the Maria Lionceros.
If you’re worried about Wicca taking hold in Venezuela, don’t be. It would only ever appeal to a small minority. If you’re worried about paganism taking hold in Venezuela, you’re about 25 years too late. It’s a fait accompli.
Comment by Allan Marsden August 19, 2008 @ 12:15 pmEase up guys, it’s satire. Not real
Comment by Ease Up September 20, 2008 @ 7:54 pmWhat?
Comment by Hayley October 12, 2008 @ 7:22 pmWe do not force our religion on other people. thats absurd! how dare he!
“devil-work” is very insulting..
maybe he’ll learn one day.
Blessed be.
well, being roughly new to this religion I can’t put up a lot of historical value to back up to much, but, being at a dedicant level, I know the basics. wicca has never been a violent or trouble some religion. I have never been preached to by my high priestes to go out and “convert” otheres. our religion is one of peace, love for the earth and respect. we may not have the same god(s) as you, but all together, we are all worshiping what we believe is above us. the belief system may not be the same, but that’s not something to argue about. I won’t bad-trash the christians. that is the first thing I learned… “tolerance”… I would expect other religions to do the same.
blessed be.
PS- and as for any questions about the politics and wicca.. I am a pvt. serving my country, and I am not the only wicca. I have commanders above me that felt the same calling of the earth. so do not believe everything you hear on the news. the government is hartless. which iin a way is a good thing. every ont is free to follow their own religion. “as long as it harms none, so mote it be”
Comment by still faithfull January 4, 2009 @ 3:39 amyah theres more light wiches than dark wiches. now why is that well it gose to if you do something bad it comes 3times harder on you.wich would plopble lead to your death lol. for me my wohle famly is wicca. light wiches. and iam sorta new to this so don’t ask me for eney wich addvic lol p.s. sorry for my miss spelled words lol.
Comment by kyle May 30, 2009 @ 3:59 pmAs a Wiccan for many years I have read this article and some of the comments with shock. You’d think people would actually research Wicca before talking about it in such a public way. It saddens me that people are going to be tearing into Wiccans, and that people would put comments like some here, when the truth is they have no real idea what Wicca is about. Wiccans are not satanists (we don’t even believe in the devil), we don’t have one “holy book” and we don’t want to force our beliefs on people. Please lean about religions before announcing incorrect facts about them.
Comment by Felicia June 17, 2009 @ 4:09 pmBlessed Be
come on we need respect no jokers pleas. this crazy this men is thinking wrong We do not force our religion on other people.
Comment by zuriel August 18, 2009 @ 6:29 pmwell as a memeber of Wicca. I have to say what the hell? tht man is crazy. he hates americans and wants to have a war against us and now he wants to say he is a wiccan. that man is against freedom and wicca is about freedom and individuality. that is why we need to get organized so we can exclude assholes like him
Comment by Baphometsblood August 18, 2009 @ 11:17 pm